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Published Wednesday; November 1, 2006

Paper Folded

News of the Harold Star being folded have been greatly exaggerated. For the paper shall forever live within us and in one form or another continue on to lay out the cold hard truth. There have been much debate on the tardiness of the news reporting. Rumors that outside forces forced the paper down. Or some internal debate among the editors and other contributing people. We are going to have to have track down all the rumors and talk about that at a later date. Rest assured we have gone nowhere. We were merely sitting idly in the background waiting for our chance to bring forth the truth like no one has ever done before. Let it be known that if you are in a position of power and you have something to hide, as people in power always have something to hide... We shall bring that to light no matter what.

Where Has Our Harold Gone?

He rides from state to state in his big rig. Way up north to the southern states of the United. Still, something was lost along the way. Harold, the great leader who cast out Leo to become "Harold the Great" is not what he used to be. Perhaps old age has gotten to him or his conversion from imperial to metric has forsaken him and reduced him to the man he is today.

Once upon a time my fellow friends he was truly great. Every step was a step toward the future and everything he touched turned to gold. Some might say that is a bad thing but gold is gold and I'd let him touch me if that meant I could keep it. Anyway, where has Harold gone? He has been to many places but has returned not the same man. One might say that is inevitable. Though we thought Harold was greater than that. He was "Harold the Great" after all.

Some say he has given in to the evil power of Oi and can be found in certain spots yelling Oi , Oi , Oi at the top of his lungs. While still others say he is the true power behind everything that exists today and his moods go in cycles like ying and yang. Most only see the good side of Harold but beware when his evil side takes control as it upsets the balance of nature itself. Others say he a secret member of the sinkers which would explain his rise in power and prestige. We may never know the true story of this inscrutable force known as Harold but we do know he is not one to be trifled with and no one better lay a hand on his cookies.

Still today we are left with but a shell of that man. Some may say even his shell is great. Indeed, his shell is greater than many men. Though we here miss that once great man and wish him to return to us. Maybe he made a wrong detour through Glistenland or Oiland. Whatever the case may be, we only wish to have that great man as a leader just once more. If only to cast out this shell and take his rightful place upon the throne of Harold's Place. For the current version of Harold is waging a war he cannot win. A war against milk and cookies.

Why they bug him so much is unknown. The people love milk and cookies and perhaps a little too much. Perhaps enough to leave Harold's and visit Leoville. Perhaps Harold feels threatened that the people will start to love milk and cookies more than him? We are not sure what is going on in Harold's head and we honestly do not want to know. Anyway, if you happen upon some milk and cookies... While we do not condone illegal actions such as harboring them against Harold's well known rules outlawing putting them together. We would just like to say that if they happen to find their way to your closet, perhaps best not to point that out to the current administration. Just for now anyway. Better yet, don't look in your closets and all will be well.

Videos Released

Timmy still hasn't talked to the media about his attack. When we tried to talk to him about the new videos released, he not only refused to talk to us about it, he had us escorted off his property. Those close to him say he is still recovering and to give him time. That these videos merely take him back to that horrible time. We give our or deepest sympathies. No one should have to suffer through that. Take a look at these videos (1) (2), and when you are as disguisted with Leo as we have been for the last few years. Make sure you drop him an email letting him know how you feel...

Leo@leoville (Leo, You Sheep's ASS!)

Hissy Seen From Space

Area Of Predicted Disturbance

It is believed that the strange energy was thrown off at this area. This is only a prediction as all the equipment in space was hindered inoperable. The energy levels were off the scales before everything finally blew up.

You heard right. For the first time in history, a hissy fit was seen from space. Who threw this hissy? Well it was so much hissy that it blinded the sensors on the space station. They at first thought it was some kind of solar flare. After a few minutes they realized it was coming from earth, as they tried to zoom in on the disturbance, every circuit and other electronic device on the station blew. So terrified by this they haven't even tried to look at the area they believe the disturbance is located. All we can say is, beware the force. Whenever you feel that little tingling on the back of your neck, or you catch a quick glimpse of something out of the corner of your eye.. That is the Oi. The Oi Factor!

Candidacy Dispute



   As you may know, Dan formally known as (The Path) of Leoville announced a while ago his candidacy for the Harold's Board of Supervisors to fill the open seat of district 3.

Well, Joseph pictured on the right would have none of that.. He told us he would fill the seat before he let Dan. So Joseph would hold a total of two seats if he gained support in an unprecedented opportunity to institute some real change. We are not even sure he could legally do that. Before Joseph gained any momentum, Harold stepped in and gave Trallyus the much coveted seat.



As such he has been asked to step down from the paper as it would be hard for him to maintain two distinct positions. One, his professional supervisory role and the other, a journalistic need for the truth. Perhaps he can send in a byline or two every now and then. For now anyway he'll need some time to adjust to what it means to have a seat of the very popular district 3. Also it should be noted that witnesses have seen him and Wesley hunting together. We are not sure if this may influence him in the upcoming voting sessions.. We will have to keep an eye on this to be sure.

As a side note, check out this page on what could happen if Trallyus' power is left unchecked.. http://trallyus.gedekran.com

Harold's Webcam

Harold, as seen here surveying his kingdom. As he was getting ready for the "big update". It was somewhat seamless, though we have already experienced a few glitches here and there. Nothing to worry about too much. It is a rather daunting task, for the software was not only upgraded but just recently the server was moved to Vegas. He is ambitious we'll give him that. Anyway, just remember what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Harold Plays Dress-up

It is still not sure if this is some elaborate prank against the Great Harold... Or some bizarre kinky fantasies he is playing out. Sources lead us to believe a prank, but you never know. Attempts to figure this out have thus far proven futile. Either way it is funny no matter what the cause. Maybe he is trying out for an Elton John story? We are sure after seeing this story published he'll come clean about everything. Or maybe, just maybe someone on the inside will secretly tell us all the juicy details.

Timeout/Subforums

    PLUS (+)    

Equals (=):

    The Timeout Corner
      Our friendly alternative to spanking

    Forum/Subforum
      Where the True Believers congregate
        Subforums: Fun+


The general consensus is that the subforums are indeed Harold's very own dungeon. Where evil acts against political prisoners are preformed. This has not be substantiated as of yet, but soon perhaps. Also that celebrities have guided tours down there as a place to hide away from the paparazzi and the public. Making the prisoners nothing more than slaves to do their bidding. Indeed what a sick, sick place.

What about the timeout area? Well we know for a fact that is a farce as it merely serves as a facade for those celebrities that get a little out of hand and merely serves as a slap on the wrist.

Multiple subforums are nothing more than a flashy gimmick to portray a sense of being with the times. The timeout area is just to show that Harold's Place takes security seriously. Put them together and you have a flashy facade just like what is currently happening in a "well known" government. A political grab for power. Look, that is evil and beyond torture. But those people seem to be into bondage. So... The real torture for regular folk is in trying to get out of that evil, horrible place.

What does an anonymous source deep inside the subforums have to say in response to all this talk about the timeout area and subforums?

"Tingle + Ass = Tingling Ass."

Milk & Cookie War

As you can see from the map.. Leoville holds the stockpile on cookies while Harold has a stranglehold on Milk. While this used to encourage trade between Leoville and Harold's Place.. Something recently happened that has broken down old trade routes and a DMZ area has been established. The local governments have not gone public as to why this occurred. Thus a black market has sprung up to give Harold's citizens the much coveted cookies they want and the Leoville citizens the much needed milk. Of course at a price multiple times what it used to be. And if someone is caught either exporting milk or importing cookies they are thrown into the subforum dungeons.

Of course conflicts between Leoville and Harold's place is nothing new. As you may recall in a previous issue we talked a little about the water issues plaguing both boards. Luckily while war was threatened back then, we found a way to work together and solve our problems. Then again times back then were not so politically charged as they are today. Given the recent attacks and the destruction of our privacy in the pursuit of power.

Speculations are abuzz on why Harold banned all cookies. Some think it stems from Leo banning Milk from his land first. That might be a result from Joseph's political maneuvering where he outed Dan of Leoville from gaining any support for the seat of district 3 in Harold's Place. Or when Harold superseded local laws and overruled the established conditions and appointed Trallyus to that position. We have people in both Leoville and Harold's Place looking further into this mater. Rest assured we will get to the bottom of these absurd embargoes.

Forum Quote

Kristopher: "You shall come to know the true meaning of the "Horrific Cookie War" that would never end."

Harold: "I got yer cookies right here."

Kristopher: "That's not what you said on this 'webcam video' I just so happen to have in my possession. Teeheehee... Hee hee hee."

Harold: "Bring it on."

Trallyus: "Someone has been taking lessons from the President as isn't that his saying? OMG What if Harold wants us to invade Leoville looking for weapons of milk and cookies? "

Harold: "I am staying the course."

Trallyus: "Eek one of THOSE types "

Kristopher: "If he truly learned from him then in a few weeks he'll deny ever saying that and will pretend the clear evidence of this thread as.. *Squint eyes, crouch a little* 'Heh, heh.. We must stay united. We must be strong.. Heh, heh.. The war on milk and cookies! Heh, heh..'"

Trallyus: "As the shout box says 1.2.3.4 I declare a cookie war so now all abled body users must stand up and toss their cookies For Life , Liberty and the pursuit of Harold!!! "

Picture taken by: Kristopher
Date/Time: 10/24/2006 at 3:46:40PM
Model: Kodak DX7440
Size: 2.88 MB (3,024,212 Bytes)
Pixels: 2304 x 1728 Pixels (3.98 MPixels)
Pixels/Inch: 230
Exposure Time: 1/350 seconds

Much has happened since our last update. Joseph has overtaken many people and just recently overthrew Wesley. Just a few days ago he broke eight thousand posts. Clearly on his way to overtake Amy in a few short days and then a week or two after that.. Kristopher. A few after that? Harold and other top posters. Is there anyone who is strong enough to stand up against this fierce poster?

Top Posters:

1.) Trallyus with 13508 posts +1946
2.) Shouse with 13021 posts +59.
3.) Harold with 11452 posts +1050
4.) Kristopher with 9137 posts +2365
5.) Amy with 8254 posts +456
6.) Joseph with 8083 posts +2532
6.) Wesley with 7995 posts +1088
7.) Ann with 7865 posts +676
8.) Colleen with 7492 posts +1338
9.) Rod with 6124 posts +371

Poll Results

Harold

Member #: 2
Name: Harold Andrews
Title: Stupidvisor
Total Posts: 11376
Birthday: 3/7/1967
Homepage: http://haroldandrews.com
Occupation: Driver
Hobbies: Babysitting Jim and Amy. Someone has to watch them!
Location: Defiance, Ohio
Registered on: 10/24/03 01:11 PM

Latest Post - #145014 - 10/31/06 08:34 PM

As if that is possible.

What's the hardest thing about being a trucker?

The most difficult thing about driving a truck is to not run over stupid people while being away from home more than a day at a time.

About Me:

I come from a long line of English potato farmers. I've always had an interest in tech stuff so here we are with this site that I've had since 1999. The Navy wanted me in their nuclear program after I finished highschool, but I went to Ohio State instead for orchard and retail farm market management -(Wooster campus). In fact I attended three different colleges in two states and didn't finish out anything. I did graduate with honors from truck driving school and the rest is history. I'm happily married with one wife, two stepkids, two dogs, a bunny, and three white Pekin ducks. Also had two pigs. One had a one way trip to the Defiance County Fair a couple months ago and the other one made a round trip back to our freezer.

Before driving, I've worked at Cooper Tire and Rubber in Auburn, IN. Spent a year as welder in Fort Wayne at a small shop and ran a stainless steel tube mill. Also worked a year at Therma Tru in Butler, IN. as a door machine operator. Before the factory jobs I was a fulltime hired herdsman on a 150 sow hog farm along with several thousand acres of grain crops. Through highschool my family had a farm market that we ran.